cuddles are not always good

Here's an excerpt from a small online repository called the Theology of Hugs:

"The theology of hugs is really the theology of love. Think of a common experience. A young child is playing happily, all is sunny and peaceful and then he falls down, skins his knees and runs hurting, crying to his mother. She hugs him, reassures him, and in that one act restores order and trust to the world. Her actions help the child believe that it will be all right, you can go back now to playing. That is the basic theology of hugs. At times when words won’t do they remind us of our human connections.

"But hugs are not always safe. If boundaries are not clear they can leave you feeling intruded upon, even invaded. As with love, that overused word, you can only hug freely or love someone else if you first love yourself. And to do that you must know who you are. Part of that is setting limits. Love and hugs are not panaceas. No one has a right to demand a hug from you. Some of us have trouble saying no, others have trouble trusting others, and thus cannot say yes. Few of us can do that dance of intimacy really well. Couples, friends, co-workers send conflicting signals: come close, no, now go away! Few couples are all the time, or even most of the time in the same place when it comes to closeness. And sometimes we all have to say “No.” Sometimes we have to save ourselves."

Why'm I mentioning this? Aren't I the person who commonly says that "cuddles are always good"?
I'm retracting that statement.
It's not even that I feel incapable of providing others with a crutch sometimes - I'm far more disturbed by my own atavistic need for human contact. It seems as though by seeking out a simulacrum of comfort, I'm avoiding a more important job. Basically, I'd rather make my own self-esteem and self-love. Then when I do embrace a person, it might mean something.

That's not to say social hugging's out; there's what I like to think of as the We Are Family hug - you know, that experience at a social gathering where you are expressing solidarity with people in your circle. It's nice to make a gesture of bonding and celebrate your common identity. But too often I worry that when I gravitate to a person and give them a bear hug, I'm trying to stave off feelings of awkward loneliness by seizing on the few people I know at that party/show/conference. That... doesn't seem fair.